Ew. Continued.

Ok, see if you can guess who I am.  "Mmm....grmb..... unghh....Terrorism.....pfft...blgh....Sept. 11.....snkkkt.....ongfb......Bin Laden.....

Oh, and since when Rudy start talking like Bugs Bunny?  Promithse, Againsth, Jerusthelum, Terrorithss, McCain sthaid, Obamasths, foreign polisthy advithsors, stholutions for Russthia, Stharah Palin... quit it with the fake New York accent.  Learn how to talk and how to research your facts.

Ew.

So I'm watching the Republican National Convention...  and trying to stomach back projectile vomiting every couple of minutes.  I only caught the last few paragraphs of Romney's speech, but that was more than enough to learn that it was simply a bash-the-liberals rant, more so than pumping up support for McCain and Palin.  

After Romney, up came Huckabee.  Oh, Huckabee.  This guy comes up sputtering up about how his hometown heroes were jesus, Elvis, and FDR, oh but wait, not necessarily in that order.  Next up was a stab at the liberals, whining about how they are open to the idea of widening the definition of marriage, and then informing everyone that the Republican party believes fetuses are capable of voting McCain and thus should not be terminated once conceived.  Fuckabee, you might want to check your facts next time you get verbal diarrhea at the podium.  You falsely claimed A) Abraham Lincoln founded the Republican Party, and B), that Palin received more votes when running for governor in AK than Biden received during his presidential campaign.  Learn some basic math buddy.  Biden won Florida and California, and the combined votes of those two states easily doubles the number of votes received during all of her campaigns for governor.  How's that for inexperienced?  Oh, and she also hunts moose.  Thanks Huck, I would have hated to forget that when I head to my polling district.

Oh boy, here comes Rudy.  I'll be back with my thoughts on Palin's speech.  What? Rudy has us chanting USA?  Damn, I must be following the wrong election.  

Damn you Detroit...

Detroit just needs to be nuked into fucking oblivion. I hate Detroit; I loathe everything about it. Their stupid ass hockey team that is always so fucking good and yet never wins the Cup, it just always picks on my team. Why? No one knows. Just let it be known that Detroit needs to die in a fire of agony and despair.

In other news, did anyone catch the new House M.D. tonight (or Monday night, for those keeping track)? I enjoyed it; it seems the show is returning to the calibre it possessed during the first two seasons.

In honor of the upcoming Orlando trip, here's a good POV of the Incredible Hulk Coaster. Enjoy!



I love it. Especially when you get to hear first-timers cough*JohnandShane*cough screaming like little girls.

We eat ham and jam and Spamalot!

Yeah so as of 7pm tonight, I will be in Birmingham to see Monty Python's Spamalot! I'm totally excited. Since it debuted a few years ago, I've been looking for an opportunity to go see it, and when I found out that my dad had tickets to see it on my brother's birthday, I subsequently had to chance pants. Not really, but you get the point. Ao that will be fun.

Let's say you go into Red Robin and order the Crispy Fish sandwich. Would you, upon receiving said sanwich, then send it back on the grounds that you were expecting grilled fish? Of course you would, seeing as how the title is so misleading, with it's hand-battered, fried to perfection description. Then again, some people just aren't fit to function in society.

My buddy Nick sent me this link the other day. Being a big Sesame Street kid growing up, this video brought back fond memories during its opening seconds. However, once the cencorship of the alleged "fuck" work began, I went to laugh hard enough to damn near piss myself, particularly during the lines "I **** the candles on the wall", "**** until I drop", and "when I'm alone, I **** myself". Anyway, enjoy for yourself:



That's all for today!

Fishies!!!

I'm a Pah-rahnah. I live in tha Ama-zahn. (chomps teeth). So I'm headed to the world's largest aquarium tomorrow. I'm super excited. Yeah yeah, I'm one of those dorks that gets off on zoos and aquariums and museums... whatever. Hopefully I wont get shot on the way there or walking around... it is Atlanta ya know, which ranks up there with B*ham in terms of where to get knocked up while catching an STD and buying cocaine, all while getting shot and mugged at the same time.

Hokay, so maybe I exaggerated just a tad... I'm sure we'll be fine, and you can expect tons of pics of Pah-rahnahs (chomp)... fishie? FISHIE! FISHIE FISHIE FISHIE! (Lots of shaking).

And Hawaii. Alaska can come too.

THE AIND!

On returning to the blog...

After the long hiatus, I deemed it fit to return with a good, old-fashioned stereotype for you all to enjoy. Those of you living in the west or in certain northern areas may fail to find humor in this, but for the most part, I feel as though everyone will be laughing in one of those "funny because its true" sort of ways.




On a different note, has anyone been following the election results? Hillary winning OH and TX? WTF?! Someone tell me that isn't a terrifying thought. She's like, um, I don't even know... something vastly unpleasant I suppose. Ever been someone lost in a three-way conversation where the contributions from the other two continually went over your head? Now, substitute Jon Stewart and the viewers for the two more intellectual of the three, and who is left to fill the role of the dazed and confused? Hillary. For someone so desperate for publicity and support, you would think she might try and get an interview with someone a little less likely to, oh I dunno, make her look even more like hopeless idiot than she already does. I counted at least five different instances in which he played her right into trashing herself without even knowing it.... but oh well, her loss.

More to come in the next few days, as well as posts more regularly.